is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
