i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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