Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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