All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize