You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We don't watch enough power rangers
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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