oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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