i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
