SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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