Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
