there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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