I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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