I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize