I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
