Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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