I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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