i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
