Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
