He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
