Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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