was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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