I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
