Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
