The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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