i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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