Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
