Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
