im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
