Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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