ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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