Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
