Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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