I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
