Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
