I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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