so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
