So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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