I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
