I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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