I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
