My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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