It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize