She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
