so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
