well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm both gender and math confused
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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