just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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