Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
