Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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