I just threw up on my dentist
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
