My nipple is on Facebook.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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