Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
