We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
