Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
