Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
