He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
