Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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