I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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