There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I could make wine with my vomit
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
