Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
