My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Mom said you looked used
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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