Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
