Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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