Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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