PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
