1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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